emotional rollercoaster



image from here

 I thought I was OK. I mean, I was. But now I'm sad. I miss John. He called me, like he does every day, and we talked. And I just wanted to hop in my car and drive 500 miles to see him. He told me he had a long day, and I just wished I could have been there to cook him dinner. My heart hurts.

How long until I don't spend every other hour thinking about packing my bags and moving? It stresses me out when John tells me about the things he has to deal with at work, like driving 80MPH across town to get to a call and having the culprit remind him of my younger brother. Don't attach your people to people you know, John. Rule #1, right?

The good news is that he is coming home next weekend for three days. I am moving that weekend so it will be hectic. It's just been ups and downs the past five days.

Unrelated: I joined Lifetime Fitness. I'm quitting LA Fitness. Since I'm moving to Grandma's, I can swing the extra $20 per month. I hope I go. I mean, I will go. It helps just to sweat it out for an hour, I feel better and damn it I get good ideas while I'm on the treadmill.

Also, I'm stressed about my upcoming schedule changes. I'm starting my internship in October, which means I'll be doing three-10 hour days at work, and two-five hour days. I did a 10 hour day yesterday and by the time 4pm rolled around, my head was pounding. Add on things to do after leaving work at 6pm, and I was dead to the world by 10pm. Can I even do it? Will I fail at everything? How am I going to manage work, an internship, two classes... the good thing is I don't have worry about squeezing John time in, I guess.

I feel like these are all therapist things, so, sorry for unloading it here but, uffda. I'm ready to hop off the emotional rollercoaster.